I was obsessed with digital minimalism. Right after I read Cal Newport's book I started to identify with it. In my head it meant: "Your phone is stealing your attention, and if you eliminate it, you will succeed."

This is simply not true.

We are living in the 21st century. It all comes down to us being able to live a fulfilled life with this digital thingy in our pocket - not by eliminating it, but by having a normal relationship. Give and take. Social media wants to take some of your attention, it's in their interest. You want to preserve yours, but you can't expect knowledge, inspiration, and fulfilment without paying a price. That price is some of your attention.

However, even when we go on long hour sessions of doom scrolling, our brain fights it at some point. It says: "Enough. Time to take back control." And we listen - we put the phone down, annoyed at ourselves, and try to do something "productive."

This “productive” is our way of trying to make up for being unproductive earlier... So we end up hating the next task. Even though it is “productive” and good for us. Our brain is already convinced that the new task is a “punishment” for the scrolling. And you can feel it, our time after leaving the phone is “suffering”...

In a perfect world we would only have fulfilment from complete self-control. But we ain't in a perfect world. Something for nothing does not work - not with media, not with ourselves."

The trick

Now back to my story.

I deleted most of my social media, got a Kindle, and all the habits kinda naturally brought me to see digital minimalism a "solution" to make myself even more productive. The phone was the enemy. If I could just eliminate all "distractions" I would be happier. So I got phone blockers, time limits, filling my calendar to the max - every possible "increase productivity" advice that's out there. I've consumed it all.

But the only thing that remained were a few good habits. App blockers were uninstalled, the calendar was full but I didn’t even check it…. Productivity gone.

There is no app or minimalist device that solves the problem. So I am saying this to myself and everyone else: don't buy things you don't need. The only type of digital minimalism is self-control.

All the technology that is supposed to "bring our time back" sells a dream of taking back control. We are outsourcing a solution, because of lack of willpower, and inability to understand it's okay to make mistakes. As long as you walk forward.

How many times did you say to yourself "If only I had a dumber phone, that would make me stop scrolling"? You know what tho? You would find the next worst habit. And if you go far enough, and eliminate all the bad habits, you would end up having a book in your hands at some point. For some people in the past, that was their "worst habit" - reading too much. Why? Because they saw it as a replacement for thinking.

Schopenhauer said: "When we read, someone else thinks for us; we repeat merely his mental process... Accordingly, when we read, the work of thinking is for the most part taken away from us. Hence the noticeable relief when from preoccupation with our thoughts we pass to reading. But while we are reading our mind is really only the playground of other people's ideas; and when these finally depart, what remains?"

He goes further: whoever reads very much but at intervals amuses himself with thoughtless pastime, gradually loses the ability to think for himself - just as a man who always rides ultimately forgets how to walk. So, books are like food: if you constantly consume without pausing to digest, you don't gain nourishment. Continuous reading without reflection leads to mental indigestion, not understanding.

Anything in excess is bad. We see people who were successful in the past, and we yearn for their habits. We want to embody them by doing what they did, but we forget that often they might have seen some of their habits as a waste of time.

It does stand that we are so obsessed with productivity, that we are building our lives around it. The second point I want to make is that everything can be used for good. Our phones are also a blessing, we have such powerful devices in our pocket - with all its strengths and flaws.

The pattern

I don't think there is a way to be a complete digital minimalist. We can't be completely "sober", we give a part of ourselves to the algorithm to get some back. It's there, a part of our life.

1. Books; 2. Work; 3. Flow; 4. Delete distractions; 5. Socialize; 6. Do what you love, and find others that do the same.

Read a lot, pause sometimes. Strange things will come to mind.

I read about psychoanalysis for the past few days. Now I'm writing this - combining it with everything I've read on digital minimalism and technology. This rarely happens with YouTube videos and shit. Books are different (check the table that I made through noticing what stays with me). The density of most good books is overwhelming at the start, and you feel like you will remember none of it, but as you go about your days, your brain keeps working on it. All of a sudden you get some inspiration and write for 2 hours on an issue you couldn't solve before. Eventually you forget about it, but the moment of inspiration like that — feeling like you understand what you read and can actually apply it — is immaculately satisfying.

Who would have thought a book on psychoanalysis would make me notice that the reason entrepreneurs have issues building a product is inherent bias in us as humans? That we always interpret things how we want, even when we think we don’t…

I usually think I'll just forget what I read, but it comes back. It's not about forcing yourself to learn, watch, read and write. It's a serendipitous combination.

Run

You can't escape it. You can't buy a device that will save you.

Replace bad stuff with good: workout instead of eating right after waking up, play chess instead of video games, read a book instead of watching a video, write instead of just thinking...

Expecting a new device to save you from the old device is delusion. "If only I had this..."

We all fail though. It's important how fast we get back up.

Solution

I still don't know the solution that isn't temporary. You can't hold onto the feeling of being satisfied with yourself for long. I could blame it on "distractions," but it's not just that. 

"If I only did this, then that would happen." No. 

Getting into flow and doing things that fulfil you is not something that can happen on demand. It's not something that can be forced. The more we try to force it, the worse it is.

We should not constantly feel as if we are punishing ourselves.

Being entertained is also okay. We all fall into the loop once in a while. 

Yet, it’s no one else's fault but ours. It is only in your hands to replace bad habits with good ones. 

Nothing on the outside can replace a hole that is within.

I won't say "take control now." It doesn't work, and if it does it's temporary. It's a chase to find meaning. To be inspired, and to fall into it.

There are two options. Either you lock in, or you fall in.

Lock in is under our control. Fall in is under the control of our habits.

Why do any of this? 

The why here is coming from within. Being of aid to humanity, being capable, being worthy, being internally fulfilled with what you do, being in control of yourself - this is what gives us meaning.

To put it simply: happiness comes from self-fulfilment that occurs more commonly if we have built good habits. The end goal is never happiness - it's just the reward you get.

There is no perfection. No ideal way to self-fulfilment. It's a whole-life journey. 

Every person's goal is to have complete control of what is happening in their life. 

And if that is not their goal, then the person will blame the world for their incompetence.

We live to walk forward.