After I finished my bachelor's I wanted to start something. Had this idea, was excited about it. But I couldn't finish my thesis on time. Then some Visa stuff. And some excuses yea. So I ended up in a masters program in Brežice just to stay in the country. Six people in the whole program. More personal, sure. But I was stuck in this small city, feeling like everyone else was doing something and I was just... waiting.

So I ended up saving for a year, not going to the lectures and moving to Ljubljana eventually. In Ljubljana it was more difficult.

So here I am, sitting in the back of some economics lecture. Maybe 200 people in the room. The professor was going through slides and I am just watching people instead of listening.

Most people are writing. Like, actually copying every word he said. I don't know why. You can find this stuff online in 5 minutes. But there they are, heads down, pens moving. I used to do it too. First month I was all in. Then exams came and I realized none of the note-taking mattered. I crammed, passed, forgot everything.

There's this girl two rows in front of me, she's been on Instagram for 20 minutes. Guy next to her is asleep. And somehow we're all gonna get the same degree.

I keep thinking about why I'm here. The degree? I guess. But a degree for what? So someone believes I can follow instructions? That I'm stable enough to show up to an office? I won't do corporate work anyways. 

I get why the system exists. Young people need something. A path. You're 18,... 21..., you don't know what to do, and university says "come here, we'll figure it out."

But somewhere along the way the curiosity dies. You start out wanting to learn and you end up just wanting to pass. I'm not saying university is useless. I've met people here that are fucking amazing. Some classes made me think. But most of it? Most of it feels like waiting. Like my life is on pause while I figure out.

We have all this technology. All this information. And we're still sitting in rows copying slides like it's 1950.

I don't know what the solution is. Smaller classes maybe. More projects, less lectures. Something that doesn't make everyone feel like they're just checking boxes until they can leave. When we find what we want the university should keep pushing us that way...

Most people I know will graduate and get jobs they don't care about. But we could be doing something more. Build something.